Goldman Sachs abandons kittens (we’re not making this up)
Saturday, 10/24/2009 - 7:10 pm by Lynn Parramore | 14 CommentsJust when you think that Goldman can’t lose any more of its shine, The Villager newspaper of Lower Manhattan reports that the firm has neglected to pay the vet bills for homeless kittens found in its nearly-completed Battery Park City headquarters. An editorial offers an apology to America on behalf of the corporate behemoth:
“Since Goldman Sachs has been a big part of the Lower Manhattan fabric for almost a century and a half, we’d like to take this opportunity to apologize to the rest of the country on behalf of our neighbor, a financial giant personifying much of what is wrong on Wall St.
Before we get to the multibillion-dollar stuff, we’d first like to apologize that the firm has not yet paid a few thousand dollars of vet bills for the five kittens born in its headquarters building nearing completion in Battery Park City. In August, after our sister publication Downtown Express reported the kittens’ discovery, Goldman offered to pay the bills and encourage its employees to adopt the ‘BlackBerries.’
It may be just a matter of Goldman waiting to get the vet invoices — we can’t imagine they’d stiff kittens while writing out bonus checks worth $23 billion — but the cats still need adoptive homes. (Incidentally, anyone interested in one of these adorable kittens should e-mail their rescuer, the Brotmans, at rbrotpaw@aol.com.)”
Nice.
Nice indeed.
Posted by Zach P | October 25th, 2009 at 12:07 am
Former Assiitant Treasury Secretary Paul Craig Roberts in a new essay quotes Lord Friffiths, Vice Chairman of Goldman Sachs Internation as saying that “the public must learn to ‘tolerate the inequality [of incomes] as a way to achieve greater prosperity for all.” Apparently the “public” must also “tolerate” GS’s priorities when kittens are its victims.
No wonder Blaise Pascal declared, “The more I deal with people, the more I love my dog”!
Posted by Vera Saeedpour | October 26th, 2009 at 2:03 pm
Poor little kitties. But since I’ve heard from reliable sources that Goldman Sachs makes snuff films featuring teenage Filipino girls, I don’t think they’d worry too much about a little detail like ganking a few orphan cats.
If they huff kittens for breakfast every morning that would be just an infinitesimal and minor smudge on their rap sheet which no prosecutor in the country would even dignify with a second though. Viva capitalism!
Posted by Arch Stanton | October 26th, 2009 at 2:43 pm
The cats must not be purebreds. Waste of their time.
Posted by Steve | October 26th, 2009 at 3:11 pm
Zach, I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again - where are the pitchforks??
Vera, that is such a telling quotation. Thank you for posting it.
Arch, I believe it was Matt Taibbi who called GS the “great vampire squid sucking the lifeblood” out of our nation.
Steve, a good one!
Thanks to all of you for reading. I hope you’ll spread the word about New Deal 2.0.
Lynn Parramore, Editor
Posted by FERI | October 26th, 2009 at 4:17 pm
I’m thinking of opening a pitchfork-sharpening business. I think demand will be high.
Posted by Zach P | October 26th, 2009 at 4:29 pm
Ha! No doubt.
Posted by FERI | October 26th, 2009 at 4:35 pm
“the public must learn to ‘tolerate the inequality [of incomes] as a way to achieve greater prosperity for all.”
That might — and I emphasize might — be true if “all” were achieving greater prosperity. But the data shows that most of us are suffering stagnant or declining standards of living. The rising tide on Wall Street is definitely not raising all boats.
Posted by Victoria Posner | October 27th, 2009 at 10:05 am
pitchfork is yesterday’ news - AR15 - that’s pitchfork of 21 century schizoid man
Posted by spec | November 11th, 2009 at 5:59 am
Lord Friffiths, Vice Chairman of Goldman Sachs International as saying that “the public must learn to ‘tolerate the inequality [of incomes] as a way to achieve greater prosperity for all.”
We don’t have to tolerate anything! We just need to get mad enough to get even.
Oh, Lord Friffiths- thanks for the little nugget of wisdom, now we will know where to start.
They just don’t believe sitting on their gold perches, that the rabble will actually be smart enough to do anything. Talk about arrogance.
I say let’s scare the hell out of them.
Posted by Fool on the Hill | November 11th, 2009 at 8:59 am
They are rat bastards.
I’m surprised GS didn’t securitize and tranch the poor little fellas.
Posted by K Ackermann | November 11th, 2009 at 11:19 am
Robespiere had the right idea
Posted by brian | November 11th, 2009 at 5:20 pm
Several thousand dollars for 5 kittens? I’d feel better if all 5 had been euthanized on the cheap and the difference used to help people. Several thousand sent to Oxfam/Red Cross International Relief etc. would save a lot more than five PEOPLE.
Posted by Weevie | November 11th, 2009 at 11:19 pm
why should kittens be euthanized at all for human monetary nonsense? why should other life forms die cause we made up money?
Posted by ew | December 20th, 2009 at 8:04 pm